By Roger Gray - When it seems that everything is starting to go wrong in a marriage, knowing where to turn to becomes difficult. Trite and contrived are two words to describe the advice being offered in books and magazines and they may take forever to implement. Try following these 5 tips but keep in mind that the results may not come overnight.
Cool Off
What you sometimes need to clear the air and gather your thoughts is a break from each other. A few days away from each other to cool off and really think about your relationship without arguing about it can really help. Thinking about why you got married in the first place and how you can both work out your problems are the things you should think about during the cooling off period.
Look at Yourself Too
It's all too easy to assign blame to one of the partners. Unless you are in an abusive relationship, chances are you both have issues that you need to address. But blaming yourself for all the problems you are having isn't going to solve anything. Each of you is responsible for your own actions and remember that it takes two to tango. In your cooling off period, look carefully at how your thoughts and behaviors influence the relationship, and what you can do to change the ones that are damaging it.
Resolving Your Problems
To resolve your marriage problems, which usually give rise to arguments, what you need to do is sit down and discuss the problems and avoid shouting at each other when you do so. If you can't manage this after the cooling off period, you may want to enlist a neutral third party like a marriage counselor to help keep the discussion on track.
Why You Should Spend Time Together
Spouses sometimes spend more time apart than together and leading separate lives often leads to conflict. Helping you both remember what brought you together in the first place is finding something you both like doing and doing it together. Quality time with your spouse is as important as quality time with your children.
Don't Lose Your Patience
To get started in the right direction, there's always something you can do whether you think you need a short break from your spouse in order to ease the tensions or maybe you need to focus on each other a little more to prevent things from falling apart. What you need to keep in mind is that you shouldn't waste time hoping for things to get better on their own and that you need to take action now.
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